Dancing in the Shadows by Laura Bryannan

Chapter 17

GRIEF AND ANGER

Survivors seem to have things programmed in one of two ways: either they are in touch with their grief but not their anger--their grief "sits" on their anger and keeps it safely hidden away. Or they are in touch with their anger but not their grief--their anger "sits" on top of their grief and keeps it from coming up. Both emotions must eventually find their place in the survivor's emotional repertoire to reach fullest healing. Here is one meditation to help bring up these emotions.

Nursery Meditation

Have the group sit comfortably.
Close eyes.
Take three deep breaths.
Imagine yourself floating up into space; look at all the stars burning brightly off in the distance.
Pick a star that looks interesting to you and move toward it.
As you get closer you see that it is a beautiful temple, illuminating the black of space.
Alight on the steps and enter the temple. There you meet a loving male and female master who take you into a special room off to one side.
The room is a nursery. It is decorated in pastel colors and has a soft warm mattress for a floor. There are toys, dolls, stuffed animals, blankets and pillows all around.
Ask the masters to help you return to your childhood self in this safe and protected space.
Ask for help in getting in touch with the pain and grief that is within you.
Ask for help in reaching a place of pain that is important for you to release.
When you feel you have contacted something important for you, ask the masters to help you reach a level of resolution about this experience.
When you feel complete, thank the masters and exit the temple.
Come back to earth, back into the room, into your body; when you are ready, open your eyes.
Write down your insights or new awarenesses into your notebook.
Take turns sharing what you would like to about what you got in touch with.
Others in group should sit as High Witness--no interrupting unless asked for.
As each woman finishes, ask what she would like to receive from the group--a hug, soft words, etc.--if anything.

Telling Your Story

One of the best ways to bring up repressed emotion is to tell a loving group of people the story of your abuse. This is not something to be done casually, or early in the course of a group's work together, especially if the women were strangers to begin with. However, if everyone in the group decides they know and trust each other enough, and feel love for each other, they may want to spend a session telling their story.
As in the above meditation, as each woman tells her story, the others in the group should sit quietly and listen without interruptions or interpretations. Hearing about the painful events in each woman's past will stir up strong emotional reactions in the listeners. If anyone in the group is moved to tears or anger this should not be discouraged. Since most therapists have great poker faces, this may be the first time the storyteller ever witnessed an emotional reaction to her experiences; it may be the first time she herself realizes the wrenching sadness and pain of her childhood. Experiencing others cry or get angry over their story can be a big breakthrough for some survivors--it may finally give them permission to feel these emotions for themselves.
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Last Updated: 1 feb 99
Laura Bryannan
LauraBryannan@hotmail.com